Developing your communication skills will not only help your love relationship, but it will also open the door to lots of opportunities. By learning how to express yourself more effectively, you can build a long and happy relationship with your lover, strengthen relationships with your friends and see positive changes in your professional life too. Since most interpersonal communication is non-verbal, imagine the miscommunication that occurs on a daily basis when people are not verbalizing their thoughts effectively. Improving your verbal communication skills can therefore only help you to convey your thoughts properly and boost your chances of getting what you want.
Here are a few ways to improve communication in your relationships – both with your lover as well as your friends and co-workers:
Express Yourself
Expressing your emotions to your loved one about how you feel at the moment will result in a more positive relationship. How you express your feelings is the key. For instance, if you want to tell your loved one that you feel he or she is not investing enough effort into the relationship, here is how you express yourself:
"When you don't help me out around the house, I feel you don't care if the house is dirty."
The two elements to consider when communicating feelings are "cause" and "effect." The cause produces the effect. For example:
Cause: "You don't clean up around the house."
Effect: "I feel like you don't care."
Putting
these two elements together helps you communicate in a way that is
beneficial to your relationship because it is clear and non-blaming.
This is a technique that becomes easier and more effective with
practice.
One often makes the mistake of giving up too soon when adopting a new
communication technique if the spouse or lover does not respond
positively. Remember that it takes time; your partner will eventually
notice that you are changing your communication skills and will change
with you.
Change the tone of your voice
The type of response you receive will depend on
how you express yourself. If you are blunt and cold, then expect an
offensive remark. If you are subtle and calm, then expect a calmer and
compromising response. As frustrated as you may be with this person,
always remember that yelling gets you nowhere. Express yourself in a
calm manner and you will make the other person feel that it's ok to
respond back without getting attacked.
Pick the right time
If you approach your loved one and bring up a
problem just as he is walking through the door, then expect to be
ignored. You want to bring up concerns when your mate is open to being
approached. Try during dinner or after your partner has been home for a
couple of hours. Right before bedtime may also be good as long as your
mate is not too tired. The point to remember is that your loved one will
be more open to discussing an issue and working things out if you catch
him in a relaxed state.
